Step 1: Stare at a blank Word document for six hours.
Step 2: Decide it sucks and pour a rum and coke.
Step 3: Decide you can’t stand even the sight of the blank page any more, and instead of putting words on it, slam the laptop shut.
Step 4: Burn the laptop.
Step 5. Have more rum…coke optional.
Step 6: Send a nasty letter to all literary agents, thereby ruining any hope at a writing career.
Step 7: Where’s the rum?
Step 8: Call in favors for someone to bring more rum.
Step 9: Grab pen and paper and drunkenly stare at the blank page.
Step 10: Drink more rum.
Step 11: Decide you are Hemmingway.
Step 12: Sing the words as you write…a quote from someone else.
Step 13: Realize all the rum is gone, and decide you are NOT Hemmingway, you are Captain Jack.
Step 14: Decide its a good idea to fake sword fight the cat.
Step 15: Wake up the next day wondering what the hell happened, and why a rash of literary agents have restraining orders against you.
Step 16: Decide maybe you would be better at photography.
Hahahaha. Many thanks to my sister for indulging my sillyness and playing along while I made this list. Hope you find it as funny as we did.