H. D. Dodson

Inspired by my sister’s creation on her blog, I’ve written you a little Christmas tune of my own.  Enjoy…

The First Novel

The first Novel the author did say
Was to certain poor betas in computers they say;
In computers they read, critiquing their peeps,
On a cold winter’s night that was so deep.
Novel, Novel, Novel, Novel,
Born is the next J.K. Rowling.
 
The apostrophes are ragged and weak
Slow down the pacing, and show me, don’t tell.
Your prose is slight, try beefing it up.
And don’t let me see you slacking, I’ll beat you up.
Novel, Novel, Novel, Novel,
Born is the next Stephanie Meyer.

You’ve busted your butt, sing your praises out loud;
You sure have made your crit partner proud,
And with this manuscript you’ll land that deal
With it will come the most awesome squeal.
Novel, Novel, Novel, Novel,
Born is the next Suzanne Collins.

Warning: You have entered the slacker blogger zone. The slacker blogger can be vicious if provoked.

Ways to identify the slacker blogger:

1. The blog schedule begins to topple to the way side.
2. You get completely random posts that make no sense.
3. Drool may be dripping from his/her mouth.
4. There is an excess of candy wrappers laying about.
5. You see something like this: 

Sitting at my desk after lunch sucking on a jolly rancher (which I keep in my candy jar for daily use) inspiration struck.

Sing this to the Toys-R-Us tune. I promise it will brighten your day immensely.

I don’t wanna grow up, I’m a Harry Potter kid.
There’s a million toys in HP World that I can play with.
From pygmy puffs to secret sensors, it’s the best magic store there is!
I don’t wanna grow up because if I did, I wouldn’t be a Harry Potter kid!

*Takes a bow*

You’re welcome. It’ll be stuck in my head for the next century.